User blog comment:WolfgangBSC/The Random Chat Room/@comment-32153758-20150712022141/@comment-32153758-20150712032401

Once upon a time, there were two sisters. Their names were Zuikaku and Shōkaku. They lived happily in the Atlantic Ocean, killing random people.

One day, Zuikaku asked her older sister Shōkaku a question.

"How can I attract more women?" For in this world, all ships are female.

"Oh, Zuikaku...if you really want to attract more women, you must camouflage into the background where no one can see you."

Zuikaku, desperate for a girlfriend (she couldn't find anyone at her last mixer) quickly painted herself dark green and light green, hoping to blend in the background.

Shōkaku was a smart and intelligent girl. She knew that the standard colors of Japanese camo were made while the Japanese General was drunk on Kuznetsovodka.

By telling Zuikaku to blend in, she would actually stand out, and therefore attract women to date. Zuikaku was happy.

However, this backfired.

During a vacation, Zuikaku went to Leyte Gulf to see pretty birds. However, when she contacted her sister, she found out Shōkaku had been killed in a freak accident involving angry Americans.

Zuikaku was scared that the Americans would try and kill her, and attempted to stealthily leave.

With her green camo shining against the blue water and blue sky, she was quickly murdered by a serial killer known as American Air Strike.

Morale of the story: Japan, get better camouflage.